My Writing

Some People Come Into Our Lives: A Poem

Some people come into our lives,

And leave a mark

That can never be erased.

They touch our hearts

In a more profound way

Than we ever expected

Or imagined.

They come into our lives,

Unexpectedly,

Without warning,

And fill our days and minds,

With a light

That is pure

And golden

And beautiful.

Those people are rare,

Those people are special,

Those people are gifts

To be cherished

And held dear.

They come into our lives

And leave a mark

That can never be erased.

They touch our hearts

In such a profound way

That we

Are never the same.

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My Writing

She Just Wants To Be Loved

She just wants to be loved.

She wants someone to come into her world and set it on fire with a flame that will make her glow, not burn. She wants to be with someone who understands her better than he understands himself; she wants someone who will hold her when she cries and be there for her whenever she needs him, whether it’s 3 PM or the middle of the night. She wants someone to share her secrets with and experience life with.

She longs to love. Her heart is overflowing with love; she longs to drown someone else in it. She’ll love him in a way he’s never been loved before; she’ll protect him, she’ll cherish him. He’ll never have to worry about being left alone or wonder if he’s enough, because when she loves, she grabs on and holds for dear life. She gives everything, regardless of whether the other person deserves it or not. She has to. It’s just the way she’s wired.

She just wants to be loved. She wants to be swept off her feet; she dreams of walking into a room and having him pull her into his arms. That’s what she wants: to be held, to be hugged, to be kissed, to be loved. That’s all. She just wants to be loved.

Cerebral Palsy · My Writing

The Objects of My Past, Present, and Future

I’ve been blessed to have been accepted into a few schools, and yesterday, I applied for one of their honor’s programs. The prompt was:

Imagine that you are traveling to a foreign country. Because you want to engage with the local population, you have packed three items to help you express who you are. One item should represent your past, one should represent your present, and one your future. Describe the three items you have chosen, and how they represent you. Which item would you present as a gift to those you meet and why?”

I thought I’d share my response with you…

If I were travelling to a foreign country and had to bring three items representing my past, present, and future, I would pack the bike I spent afternoons on as a child, the walker that grants me the gift of freedom, and the pink forearm crutches I’m learning to walk with. These items represent what I want to do in life: make a difference. These three items showcase the impact my cerebral palsy has had on my life, and they’re tangible reminders that it does not define me.

My bike represents awareness. The night I first sat on its leather seat and took a hold of its red handles was the night I became aware that my disability would force me to navigate life differently. Unlike the bike my sister rode, or the ones my friends cruised down the street on, this bike had three wheels. Its third wheel was a glaring reminder that I didn’t have the balance to use a regular one, but it also taught me that I could overcome the obstacles I was faced with. I spent hours on my bike, flying up and down the street. My bike represents awareness, and it reminds me that I can beat my disability.

My walker represents acceptance. For years, I hated it. I hated that it made me stand out and that it attracted stares from strangers whenever I went out in public. But in March of 2014, when I opened my school’s diversity program with a speech about how being different is beautiful, that changed. When my speech was received with resounding applause and a standing ovation, I saw my walker-and my disability- for what it was: a platform. Now, I accept that the battle I fight has given me a platform to inspire others and touch lives, and I want to use it. I want to use my challenges to uplift someone else; I want to tell my story to encourage others. My walker represents acceptance, and it reminds me that I should be proud of being unique, not ashamed.

My crutches represent perseverance. Right now, I can’t walk with them. I can stand with them on my own, but the instant I try to walk, I lose my balance and face plant. But come May, I’ll walk across the stage at graduation holding onto their handles, not my walker’s. I’m going to accomplish my goal; I’m going to fight through the difficulty and the pain that comes with using them and walk on my own. They represent the way I have and will continue to persevere through my disability, and they’re reminders that if you work hard and never give up, nothing is impossible.

If I had to pick one object to present as a gift to the people I met overseas, I would present my crutches. Not only do they symbolize perseverance, but for me, they represent the dreams I have yet to fulfill and the lives I have yet to touch. I’ve been able to do a lot of amazing things in my seventeen years, but this is just the beginning. I want to keep sharing my story and keep reaching out to others. My crutches are a reminder to keep dreaming impossible dreams, but more importantly, they’re a reminder that no mountain is so tall that it can’t be climbed.

My Writing · thoughts

Why I Write

In honor of today being National Writing Day, I thought I’d share why I write.

I write because I have to. For me, writing is as necessary as breathing. It’s how I process life; it’s how I handle the crazy, wild emotions that come with being a teenager. When I’m able to lay my thoughts and feelings on a page, the weight they once laid on my shoulders disintegrates. Writing allows me to breathe and gives me a way to heal.

I write because the characters within me deserve a voice. Since I was little, I’ve had characters and storylines dancing in my head, and when I was six years old I decided it was time to set them free. I wrote my first story about the friendship between two horses (I was little) and I haven’t looked back. For a time, I wrote stories using the characters from my favorite books, but now, my characters are all my own. Often, they- and the storylines I pen- are based off of my own life, and to me, there’s nothing better than turning a fragment of my life into fiction. Usually the inspiration comes from a situation I’ve been through or a person who has touched my heart, and on the occasions when it’s the former, I feel like I’ve put a message in a bottle: “You thought nothing of this, but I did. I appreciated it. I was touched. It meant more to me than you know, and I wanted to tell you that.”

I write to tell my story. In the past few years, I’ve realized just how powerful sharing my story can be, and if I’m ever asked to speak, I write out what I want to say. I feel like I make more sense when I write than when I talk, and I think I can leave a bigger impact on an audience if I’ve been able to write out what I’m saying beforehand. Sharing my story is a big part of why I’ve started blogging: because I want to show what life with cerebral palsy is really like, and also to show that while I may have a disability, I experience life the same way everyone else does.

I write to say things I otherwise wouldn’t be able to say otherwise. I can’t count how many times words have burned in the back of my throat, but fear has kept them in. To fight that fear, I pick up a pen and write every word I wish I could say in person. Then, I can say what I need to say without fear of what the other person will think, and more than once, doing that has given me the courage to actually say the words in person.

I write to overcome my limitations. When I write, I can walk, I can run, I can play sports, I can dance. When I write, anything my disability prevents me from doing is possible. I write to be free, and that freedom is unlike anything else.

 

Tell me: why do you write?

My Writing

WordPress Daily Post: Brave

You, beautiful girl, are brave.

You are brave

Because of the battles you fight,

So positively and courageously

Where many would fold,

Break,

And fall apart,

You smile.

You smile and shine

Like the brightest rays of sun

You shine

Unlike anyone else I’ve ever met

Despite the fact

That you are miles away

I still feel your light

And your love.

You are all around me,

You protect me,

You guide me,

You make me smile.

You taught me what life is really about:

Loving one another,

And smiling,

No matter how much it hurts

Or how hard things get.

Because that’s what you did

So beautifully

So courageously

So

Completely.

Dedicated with love to my friend Kate.

My Writing

The Colors Within Me

I wish you could see the colors within me.

Gray is for the exhaustion that just won’t leave. It’s a weight on my shoulders; it’s an anchor pulling me down. It’s chains that I can’t shake; it’s a cloud hovering above me.

Navy blue is for the confusion, the cyclone of misunderstanding swirling within me. I don’t know what’s wrong; I have no idea what’s going on. Let me in- I promise not to hurt you. I just want to help. That’s all. I want to be there for you. I can shoulder some of the weight you’re carrying. I can. I promise.

Dark blue is for the glow of excitement growing inside. It’s almost here, it’s almost here. Ten days until the journey begins; ten days until we get to play again. It’s going to be a good one- I can feel it. Play your hearts out and do your best; know I believe in you and God will work out the rest.

Gold is the freedom I feel as I take a few steps with the crutches on my own. It’s like a ray of light soaring through me; for once I’ve won and my disability doesn’t control me. That moment shows me that my goal is attainable and I’m stronger than I believe; sometimes you just have to trust and dream impossible dreams.

Red is the way my heart swells whenever he crosses my mind. He treats me like I’m his daughter; he makes me feel loved, special, unique. He goes out of his way to make me smile; his texts are a ray of sunshine. No matter what’s going on around us, he takes time to talk and wrap me in a tight hug- I just wish the rest of the world could see his golden heart.

Purple is the joy I feel whenever I think about that night. It’s going to help so many people; it will help them brighten so many lives. They mean the world to me. They fill my life with love, laughter and joy, and I hope they realize I do this because it’s something I love and something I enjoy.

You see, I’m not just one color but a combination of many, and though I try, I don’t always feel sunny. I weather storms, I burn, I break. But the truth is, you can’t be a rainbow without walking through a little rain.