My Writing

The Vow

She was tired of not feeling good enough.

So many times in the last week, she'd felt weak, tired, and exhausted. She couldn't count how many times she'd wondered if she'd said the right thing or done the right thing or sounded smart enough. She'd always been a people pleaser, but now, she was tired of it.

She was tired of molding to others' opinions and always being what she thought everyone wanted her to be. She was tired of the constant worry, the constant second-guessing, the constant self doubt. She was stronger than that. So she made herself a vow.

She vowed that for once, she'd put herself first. She vowed she'd fight for her dreams in a way she'd never fought for them before. Because you know what? She deserved them. She'd been through so much and weathered so many storms- it was time for happiness. It was time for sunshine. It was time for beauty. It was her time to shine.

As she sat alone, with the knots of pain wounding tighter and tighter in her stomach, she vowed to let it go. She'd let it go and she'd embrace life. She'd embrace it fully and completely, and she'd live in a way she never had before.

That was the night her life changed.

Cerebral Palsy

Then Vs. Now

As I began my senior year of high school today, I found myself thinking back to the first day of freshman year, and how, while some things have changed, others have stayed the same.

Freshman year, I was terrified. I was so afraid I wouldn't know anyone in any of my classes,(most of my friends went to a different high school) but what I was more afraid of was that classmates would see my disability instead of seeing me as Robyn. I don't know how many times I listened to Taylor Swift's "Fifteen" in the week and hours leading up to my first day, but even she couldn't completely take away my nerves. To add to my nerves, my bus arrived at school late. I remember walking in to my first class with shaking hands, wondering how I was going to make it through the day.

I remember the slicing, drowning pain I felt when all eyes turned to me as I came into Advanced Biology. The pain that comes from feeling thirty pairs of eyes on you is unlike anything I've ever felt. It was only by the grace of God and His strength that I didn't burst into tears. I felt uncomfortable, I felt like I was strange, I wondered what was wrong with me.

Unlike that August day three years ago, I came to school today with no worries and feeling completely at peace. I knew the Lord was right beside me and would carry me through whatever happened, and that with His help, I'd get through the day.

And I did. When I was met with a classroom of stares in forensics, instead of letting it hurt me, I reminded myself that my identity is as a daughter of God, and He loves me no matter how I walk around. And I couldn't have been more touched in AP Lit when, after I shared my six word story, (Relax. Breathe. You are strong enough.) my teacher said, "Who thinks Robyn is one of the strongest people you know?" Half of the class raised their hands. I was so touched and grateful. It was a sweet gesture that meant the world to me.

Day one of senior year is in the books, and it reminded me again of what a big, loving, benevolent God we serve. If the rest of the year is anything like today, it will be one I'll remember for the rest of my life.

My Writing

💜You Are Beautiful💜

The things that make you beautiful are not your height, or the clothes you wear, or the way you get around.

You are beautiful because of the way you follow your heart so fearlessly and boldly.
You are beautiful because of the way you chase your dreams, no matter how big they are or how high the mountain is you must climb to reach them. You are beautiful because you are unafraid to climb that mountain, despite the fact that it is tall, and daunting, and so many people are telling you that you'll never reach its top. You are beautiful because you're strong and courageous.

You are strong because you've weathered the storms that surround you on your climb. Despite the fact that the wind is howling and you're trapped in the rain, you keep walking, you keep climbing, you keep going. You keep fighting for your dreams because you know they are worth it. You know you are worth it. You know this journey will only make you wiser and smarter, and you know one day you'll look back on it and realize it was this very climb that turned you into the person you're meant to be.

So when you look in the mirror and think you're not beautiful because of your hair or because of the clothes you wear or because of the way you get around, I want you to remember something: You are beautiful because you are who you are. You are beautiful because you are unafraid to be yourself, you're beautiful because you're unafraid to be different, and you're beautiful because you're unafraid to leave the beaten path and blaze your own. That's why you're beautiful. It has nothing to do with clothes, or hair, or anything else. You are beautiful because you are you, and you're never alone. Never.

My Writing

💖A Letter to My Angel💖

💖Hi sweet Kate💖

Miss you so, so much. You have no idea how badly I wish I could wrap my arms around you and hug you so tightly. I miss your beautiful smile, your heart made of kindness, love, and gold, and the way you were always so positive about everything. I miss everything about you. So, so much.

How are you, sweet, beautiful girl? I picture you on horseback, riding down streets of gold and air peppered with light. I see your smile; in my mind, you're wearing that beautiful blue dress with the sparkly rhinestone top you wore the night we met. I hope you're happy. I hope you know how loved you are, and I hope you know you will never be forgotten.

You feel so far away, yet I know you're here. I feel your presence, so beautiful and strong. You were the beautiful butterfly on the door yesterday; you were the majestic eagle we saw on the lake at the beginning of the summer. You're the masterpiece that is the night sky; you're the light that shines from the stars, so bright. You're gone, but you're always here. Always in my heart. So far, yet so near.

Somehow I know it wasn't coincidence that I found the newspaper article about you yesterday as I cleaned my desk. (It looked like a hurricane hit it, I know.) It was one more way you were reaching out, hugging me, letting me know you're right here, right beside me. Thank you, sweet Kate. Your messages are beacons of light, vessels of beauty, and they both comfort me and make my day.

I love you, Kate. I love you so much and you're always on my mind and forever in my heart.

Sending you a huge hug and all my love,
Robyn 💜

thoughts

If You Have A Dream, Chase It- An Update

Last week, I wrote a post about my dream of helping kids with cancer. Thanks to The Truth 365, that dream has come true.

A few days after I published the post, I got a response from The Truth 365, which, of you didn't catch my first post, is an organization that raises awareness for pediatric cancer and advocates for more funding. The woman who emailed me back was incredibly kind, and she told me that what I could do was write a guest post for their Facebook page and we'd see what kind of response we'd get. I was elated, and immediately went to work writing my post, despite the fact that I'd seen the email after midnight. (People always say you write the best pieces late at night- I'm inclined to agree.)

The post was published the next day, and the response was overwhelming. There were so many kind, thoughtful comments, but the best part was that a mom wrote in to The Truth 365 and said she would love it if I would write to her little girl! I was so excited. I have a card that I'm going to send her, and I hope and pray the Lord will use my words to make her smile and lift her up. She has already inspired and encouraged me so much, and I'm so blessed to be a small part of her courageous battle.

Please keep her in your prayers, and never be afraid to follow your heart and chase your dreams. Amazing things happen when you have the courage to step out in faith and reach towards them.

Here's the link to the guest post I wrote, in case any of you want to read it😊:
https://goo.gl/ka3Q1c

thoughts

If You Have A Dream, Chase It

Since the passing of my sweet friend Kate, I’ve had a desire to help other kids fighting cancer. I wrote Kate letters, and I would love to do something similar for other kids. It doesn’t have to be letters; I just want to encourage and be there for other kids fighting the same battle Kate fought so courageously.

Tonight, I did something about it.

There’s a non-profit organization called The Truth 365, who shares stories of kids fighting cancer and who fundraises and raises awareness for childhood cancer. They’ve reached out to thousands of cancer fighters, including Kate. In fact, she was how I learned about them- her mom shared posts on her Facebook page of interviews she and her family have done with them, as well as other things they’ve posted about Kate. So tonight, I reached out to them, telling them about my dream of wanting to help other kids who are fighting. I’m not sure when or if they’ll respond, but I decided to try, just in case it works out and I do get the blessing of being a small part of what they do.

So tonight, I wanted to tell you this: if you have a dream, or a desire that the Lord has placed on your heart, don’t be afraid to go after it. If it’s meant to be, it will work out. And if not, you will still be able to say you pursued something close to your heart. And that is something to be proud of.

I hope you had a blessed Monday. Good night. 💗 Sweet dreams. 💖